Robyn and Michael's two children were born via the same Canadian Surrogate.
Can you tell us how you came to explore surrogacy as an option to start your family?
After having three miscarriages naturally, a couple of rounds of IVF and a failed egg donor implantation, it was discovered that I needed a hysterectomy due to pre cancerous cells on my endometrial lining. I talked to a doctor at Monash IVF who opened me up to the idea of surrogacy and the normalisation of this as becoming parents. We contacted Sam at Growing Families and our journey began.
How did you find your surrogate?
Altruistic surrogacy in Canada really resonated with us due to the genuineness of surrogates wanting to carry babies in Canada and the shared values our countries share. We contacted ANU in Canada who matched us with an egg donor and our surrogate. The match was perfect in that as couples we were very similar in terms of our values, occupations and life outlook. Both our children were from the same egg donor and carried by the same surrogate.
What were the major hurdles you encountered in your journey to parenthood, and how did you overcome them?
Miscarriages, failed IVF and hysterectomy. We were both in our mid forties by the time we got to the surrogacy process to time really was running out for us.
Could you touch on the emotional aspects of your journey via surrogacy?
To be honest, the emotions were all positive. To feel like you have no control over your body and the process of trying to become parents naturally vs watching such a beautiful soul carry our babies (she carried both our son then our daughter - what an angel), and including you every step of the way (even recording your voices and playing them to your baby in utero) was incredible.
Were there unexpected costs or financial challenges to starting your family - and how did you navigate them?
COVID!!! Our son was due 2 weeks after the borders were closed. We had to engage 3 lots of extra lawyers to try and get out of Australia and into Canada and then back again. Not many people think of lawyers as heroes but they really were. And our immigration agent continues to be a good friend. We went to our local MP and canvassed our case. We had to quarantine twice and spent a fortune on flights as flights kept disappearing. We were lucky to have supportive family.
If you could go back and do anything differently in your family-building journey, what would it be and why?
Nothing. Every challenge was a gift. We are older parents but I truly believe that it is the best time to have kids - we have so much time to give them as we are established.
What needs to change around surrogacy laws in Australia to make this process easier and less expensive?
Domestic surrogacy needs to reflect the Canadian model.
Talk me through the process around how you and your partner got legal parentage?
Lawyers in Canada arranged the parentage orders and the change of birth certificate.Were the unexpected costs to this court process and time involved?No.
How could the transfer of parentage be done differently in your opinion?
It was a really quick process (less than a week). Full recognition in Australia of myself as the mother is required.
What advice would you give to others who are exploring surrogacy - what words of wisdom or encouragement would you share with them?
Do it! If you want to be a parent, the journey is so rewarding. And the outcome being to hold your child in your arms is life changing. Our children also have the love of our surrogate and family and our egg donor and family, as well as Canadian citizenship. They will grow up knowing their story and knowing how loved and wanted they were.
What has been the best part of becoming a parent, and how has it changed your life and perspective?
Watching your children grow is what life is all about. The gift to our parents and other family is incredible too.
See Michael and Robyn's story during Covid, on Canadian TV.
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Lisa M published this page in Surrogacy Family Stories 2023-10-24 16:49:31 +1100